A change of mood

My mother wore the headscarf for the first time yesterday. She tried to sound cheerful over the phone but her tone betrayed her. She kept on reassuring me the last few weeks of how things are not so bad in our area, and how she is still going for her daily walks in the vicinity with no problems.
She even made me laugh saying that she still carries her umbrella as a protection from the scorching sun; a habit she always insisted on, and used to cause us embarrassment.

I might sound silly; my mother after all is an old woman, what about young women or even children. But I am sad. I draw my strength and confidence from her.

I still remember when I wanted something or required her permission to go somewhere, I used to take her by surprise to guarantee her approval. Never ever she changed her mind even if she had had second thoughts. She wanted to prove to us all the time that her position and her words never change. Poor mother she did not even have the option of saying “your father didn’t agree” later on, because she was a single mother.

I cannot stand the idea of my mother changing let alone forced to do so.

All the signs show that in the middle of this madness; the only issue all battling groups seem to agree upon is women repression.
Iraqi women will lose regardless of who wins in the end.

I wrote the above yesterday evening.
Today I feel I cannot finish it….Why ?
Because I am happy, very happy indeed.

You all know why. Zarqawi is finished.

Things might not improve or change instantly, but this will definitely have a positive effect on Iraqis. It will bring back a long lost confidence; not in the government but in themselves and the future. The tables are turning at last.

I chose to celebrate with my colleagues at work. They were the ones who’ve seen my ups and downs. They are the ones whom I spend most of my time with.

I took them over to their favourite pub and bought them drinks.

My line manager threw a very nice speech; it did bring tears to my eyes, something that rarely happens.

It never occurred to me before, but it seems that they all know I am madly in love with Iraq!