The sound of silence

“Happy women’s day” I said it over the phone to the few friends I have left in Baghdad.

F’s cheerful laugh echoed back as usual “I don’t believe you phoned just to say that, darling take me off your greetings list, I am in hibernation.”

“Have you lost hope completely?” I asked.

“I don’t know, but hope means expecting something to happen and get frustrated if it doesn’t. I am really fed up with this game, I prefer to get along with the idea that this situation will last forever and I have to live it as it comes. This is my new philosophy.”

Sensing her good mood I said “What about love? Are you still madly in love with him?” Another cracking laugh pierced my ear “Of course I am, and worse than ever! My heart actually still throbs when I hear his keys opening the front door."

She went on "Tell you what, in spite of all; I feel lucky I managed to fall in love. Look at this generation not only there is no way for them to live a normal life, but somebody is poisoning their brains and killing their future dreams. A programme on a so-called secular and liberal channel broadcasted last week, was implying that love is safer if it comes after marriage for young women! And pressed at least three times that men were born with the ability to love more than one!”

A, my other friend’s answer to my greetings was “You know what; all I dream of is silence. No bombs, no shooting, no sirens, no generators, no news and even no calls for prayer. I reached a point where I wish I could strangle my children just to shut them up."
"The day of silence would be my day, if I managed to live till it comes.”

S, a divorcee with two small children is still working because she has to. She still drives as well, “It is really tough, but I prefer it to sitting at home. My only problem is the guilt. If I got killed my children would have no one.”
“Do you remember how anti-men I used to be in the good old days? Now I am not. We are equals at last. Bombs and mortars do not discriminate, so probably they deserve a men’s day as well”.

The last call I made was to another A, the only one deeply involved in politics!
That is if women’s’ associations and orphanages are considered politics!
Actually I phoned in reply to her greeting e-mail which made me feel bad for not taking the initiative.

Her drained voice reflected her worries and defeat, but as soon as she recognised my voice she said “It is tough but we will get there. We have to compromise, bend and twist just to keep things going. There are constant clashes, and the hope to work as a team looks far fetched.
To be frank and direct, religion is our big obstacle; every little issue has to be channelled through its narrow tubes.”

“Is there any hope for women?” I asked.
There was a moment of silence then she said “Maybe when we manage to convince the nation that we are better. At least women are mothers first and there is no way they would allow these killings. You cannot imagine a woman running a militia can you?”

I laughed and said “I miss Baghdad” and her immediate reply was “Me too”.